Writer’s Block: This was one of those scenes that contained a lot necessary conversation, but wasn’t working. It did the job, but was in fact BORING! Then a comic maker on the Webcomic Underdogs Facebook group shared an article on avoiding on-the-nose dialog. The above scene was rewritten without explicitly spelling everything out.

The trick I think was discovering the scene’s theme. Here, the perpetrator (Ghost), is unsuccessfully trying to win over the victim of his “physical” assault (Jane). First with humor, then sympathy, and finally by giving her some leverage over him. I don’t know if my writing skills are up for this kind of dynamic, but I’ll do my best to keep it honest.

Let me know how it works for you, dear reader.

Original Script

While Madame goes through her routine again, the ghost talks over her.
Spirit of the past, move among us. 
Ezra Tyree, reveal thyself.

She has an ingenious apparatus sewn into her… 
ahem, unmentionables. 



Do you know what I miss most?
The perfume of an old book.
Standing in the table and pointlessly trying to grasp the wine glass.


You are no longer welcome here, ghost.

Looking remorseful.
I pledge to never again possess you without your leave.

JANE whispers
I don’t believe you.

Silence, please.
I shall banish thee, spirit. 
I call upon the light of—

Trust is not necessary.
Once you know how to block me.