Page 63 – Why’d you do that?
Poor Jane. Stay tuned for the new adventures of “Dirty Harriet: Fowl Retribution” as the little bird stalks the city seeking revenge and protecting the innocent.
Seriously though, these last few pages with the cops went through so many revisions. Originally both officers were men, and there was a lot more bullying and nastiness. I think this version works, and I love how the old lady turned out.
Only a miracle (or a curse) can save Jane now. Tune in on Thursday to see what happens next!
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Original Script
Jane collapses on the ground. Guard 1 looks frightened of his own actions. GUARD 2 Both looking down at the camera. Aw, why’d you do that? GUARD 1 The scabby thing attempted to grope me! Who knows what sickness it carried? GUARD 2 As they walk away It’s probably better off anyway. GUARD 1 And, one less mouth to feed. GUARD 2 You solved the food shortage! Later, a few people gather around Jane’s body.
Wow, not even waiting around for the hearse, huh? The long arm of the law isn’t really coming off well in this chapter. Great looking angles, though. This page came out really well.
What comes around goes around. But, they really could try a little harder to be better than the local criminal element.
Naw. Sticking around=paperwork.
Poor Harriet. She’s so sweet, looking up for help. At least the woman didn’t try for Jane’s gold fillings.
And thank goodness getting shot didn’t accidentally expose any of her skin. I know she’s not dead (as in dead and gone), but a sunburn is the last thing she needs right now.
I love those first two angles-looking up from Jane’s point of view.
Thank you. I’m also very pleased how this page turned out, especially since it’s an important moment.
A touch of decency stands out so brightly against the very dark background you’ve laid down. It’s very dramatic. 🙂
🙂 Thank you. It’s Harriet’s little pleading glance that gets me.
Damn. That’s harsh. Jane isn’t gone for good, I know that what with her being the protagonist, but this really doesn’t bode well for her. But those cops are just despicable. I hope they get theirs.
Nope, Jane’s gone. Kaput. Slipped this mortal coil. An ex-mummy. It’s all about Harriet from here on. 😀
I can’t even express how much I hope those cops get what’s coming to them.
Too bad Sir Tyree can’t possess Jane anymore. Maybe he could zombie her around town until he found the amulet. Though he might also just let her die too, so he could be “free”. Come to think of it, he’s the whole reason she has to be out here now, since that medium wouldn’t have come and stolen the amulet if he hadn’t possessed her and insulted the maid in the first place.
On second thought, Sir Tyree can take a long walk off a short pier.
It warms my black heart that these two are so loathed.
And Sir Tyree. We’ll get back to him and his shenanigans in a bit.
damn. jane picked a bad time to forget her plot armor.
if the goal is the skeeviest looking cop ever, cop 1 wins the prize.
cop 2 isn’t big on logic. she’s worried about what jane might have been carrying, but she steals her dress anyhow.
the police department isn’t very competent. apparently beat walking is a regular thing, but there wasn’t backup close enough to come running when they heard a gunshot.
i like the elongated harriet shadow.
I don’t know what it is about partial facial hair like that can make some guys look creepy, but Morris (cop 1) has perfected the look.
You’re right that Cop 2 (Flan) wouldn’t be carrying the dress if she knew Jane had been wearing it. They thought it was stolen. So, of course they’ll probably try to pawn it.
The city police are stretched a little thin at the moment due to more pressing issues, as we’ll see in a few pages.
I like how you use their dialogue to subtly hint at the (hitherto unmentioned, I believe) “food shortage”. Very Orwellian.
P.S. The old woman carrying a bag full of groceries makes me believe there’s a lot more to this “food shortage” than it says on the tin. Again, very reminiscent of Nineteen Eighty-Four.
Oops, that was a dumb oversight. At the time I just felt like drawing carrots. A bag of rags or trash pickings would have been more appropriate. Maybe it’s Grandma Birkenstock’s monthly ration?