Page 7 – Give it back!
It took more effort that I thought to find good old fashioned saber rattling speeches to use as references. One of the more interesting speeches discovered during production of this page was an as yet unused address for the Queen of England to be read in the aftermath of a nuclear war. It’s eerily relevant to the story, so naturally I included a few choice bits. Here is a little more:
Now this madness of war is once more spreading through the world and our brave country must again prepare itself to survive against great odds. We all know that the dangers facing us today are greater by far than at any time in our long history. The enemy is not the soldier with his rifle nor even the airman prowling the skies above our cities and towns but the deadly power of abused technology. But whatever terrors lie in wait for us all the qualities that have helped to keep our freedom intact twice already during this sad century will once more be our strength.
On making comics: Sometimes a minor change can affect a whole scene. For example, the original version of this page had Jane take the telescope from her brother, but he didn’t have the binoculars around his neck. By simply adding the binoculars the dynamic changed from Jane being a total jerk to both of them being selfish and rude to each other. Like siblings.
On a similar note, the queen became African-American when I went to color her in; it wasn’t something I’d planned in the script.
Return to this spot on Thursday for some real excitement.
Original Script
The Webb family are on the upper deck of their air ship. The adults are being served snacks by their maid. There are a two royal guards on board, too. ANNOUNCER Jingoistic pontificating about standing together in unity and grand gestures, etc. The troops are heading east as a show of force. During this speech Jane and brother are arguing over a telescope. Jane holds it out of Rohit’s reach while he is hindered by a safety strap. Jane is not wearing a safety. BROTHER Give it back. I had it first. MOM Listening carefully to the speech coming from one of the acoustic horns. Quiet down, Rohit! I cannot hear the speech I composed. JANE Smiling gleefully as she looks through the scope. Indeed. Quiet down, Rohit. Show more parade vehicles as seen through the telescope. Some of the tiny figures on board are pointing at something above the viewer (Jane).
I know what you mean about subtle changes. I change things a lot from storyboards to final layouts. I like this version much better–it really brings out the childish side in both of them. Those kids…
I think the mother wins again for best line of the page.
And great work on the festive atmosphere! The little bits of confetti still in the air, all the ships hovering about…hopefully the Queen is not in any danger!
“hopefully the Queen is not in any danger!”
I have no idea what you’re insinuating. The queen is always in danger.
The amount of research you do on your strip is incredible. You create a great universe.
Thank you!
I was amused and intrigued by the nautical flavor of the airship gondolas, both civilian and military. It makes sense, when I think about it. 🙂
And, as I remember it, she was a bit of a handful when she first appeared.
That’s so the airships can land in water. 😀 Seriously, a lot of the sci-fi vehicles from the 19th century seem to be based on the contemporary modes of transportation: horse drawn carriages, boats, blimps and things shot out of a cannon.
Adding the binoculars really makes it work. Sometimes you just have to roll with the changes, you know?
I love your wide views and the shots through the telescope.
As the Queen’s Speechwriter, wouldn’t Mom be seated on the Royal Yacht? Of course, I can understand Her Highness not wanting that scamp Jane running around, getting into trouble.
One thing-the speech running across multiple panels was confusing. The pictures exist in subsequent time, but the speech doesn’t go along with them.
This is the only page I tried the speech overflow on and in hindsight it don’t work. 🙁 Fixing it to fit per-panel is something I’ll do before this ever goes to print. Thanks for confirming my suspensions.
Hmm, another thing I messed up: some announcer is giving the speech, not the queen. That doesn’t change much other than to explain why Mom isn’t closer to Her Maj. But, I should have caught that, too. Oh well. Did you notice the vehicle in the last panel is going the wrong way?
Huh. I thought the Queen was giving the speech. If I had thought more, I would have supposed she had one of those new-fangled “hidden” microphones.
Mom might not have been seated close due to the danger from Enemies of the State. One Infernal Device could wipe out the entire cabinet if they were all in one place. Makes sense to scatter them about.
And I didn’t notice the plane going in the wrong direction. But whoever thought a XQ-27 strut was strong enough to hold a PB&J-29 wing onto a Driffl “Flying Plumber” aero-plane is in for an unpleasant surprise.
No matter what era, no matter what country, no matter what world, fear remains the most effective way to control a population…
Naw, that’s for chumps and Spartans. The cool kids all use bread and circuses, baby.
Speaking of Queens, someone pointed out this silly game on Steam “Long Live the Queen”
I don’t know why, but I really identify with her wanting to hear the speech she wrote. I must admit I’m awfully preoccupied with my own work and I review things I’ve done all the time even though I already know what’s in it. I can’t decide if most people do that, or if I’m just weird.
It’s really cool how you’re able to recognize the subtle changes in visuals and how they add to the implicit storytelling. You’re a very astute comic creator.
You’ve done a gorgeous job of capturing the feel of Imperial Continental Europe and transposing it to your world. The Parade of Weapons and in fact the speech made me hear the rousing march music of the British Troops being paraded before Queen Victoria in my head, or maybe the Ottoman troops marching. Such a wild time period, and you’ve made it wilder with flight! And I hope you’ll play with the fact that Washington was offered the post of King and declined it; if he’d accepted your future here would have been very real, especially since Ben Franklin DID play with balloon and Ornithopter designs borrowed from french colleagues. But a BLACK monarch shocked me. Bravo! (heh you making political jokes? *wink nudge*)
*edit* shocked me given the time period you’ve set the story in I meant.